the weird swollen cheek

hi guys

So, you get pregnant after TTC for 2 years. you go into labour for 22 hours. your epidural didn’t work properly. you get all torned up in the hoohaaa so they had to stich you for almost an hour.

then we take the little miss home. mommy dearest is recovering for a good two months before she was herself again. mommy get panick attacs over spoiled milk. mommy hates breastfeading (bleeding, hurting, exploding, always being there, it’s always your turn, you cannot leave the house for more than two hours). Mommy stares at the baby who doesn’t do anything else than sleep, poop, suck al the energy out of her breasts, and cry.

but then, the first smiles! and she’s such a good girl! you have the best time together

So hubby says: “we are so lucky with such a sweet child that sleeps well”.

Finally, you get to enjoy motherhood.

and then, suddenlly, there is a weird swollen cheek. the doctors said: oh it’s nothing, just a virus, it will go away. The baby is eating well, sleeping and has no fever.

Now, we had an echography, and a blood exam, AND THE DOCTORS STILL DON’T KNOW WHAT IT IS.

Now I’m back to panic. And when I panic, I decide to write it off. So there you go WordPress.

On Monday she will be put asleep (WTF SUCH A SMALL BABY) so they can do a MRI-scan. They will also do a second blood test.

When you type “swollen cheek” in dutch on google you get cancer as a result, but, I will not panic.

I only hope that the doctors will find what it is!

Enjoy your maternity leave they say. Babies don’t get sick when breastfed, they say.

It’s not easy to enjoy motherhood while you’re waiting in a doctors office with a screaming child and you have to book several appointments and wait and wait and wait for test results.

But I’ve TTC for 2 years and done 3 IUI’s so I’m good at waiting, am I not?

Just kidding. I suck at waiting.

2 thoughts on “the weird swollen cheek

  1. Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry to read this! It sounds like things are pretty scary right now. You’ll be in my thoughts. Oh, and just because you had to go through hell to have a baby doesn’t mean that you have to suck it up and pretend that raising a newborn is the most fun thing in the world. The fun stuff comes later. Sending you lots of good thoughts and *hugs*

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