how to tell @work

So this post is discussing pregnancy after experiencing infertility.

I’m still pregnant! I look and feel like shit! It’s great!!!

Little by little I’m telling my friends and some good collegues at work. The collegue who sits next to me is apparently also pregnant from her second, with a lot of drama “I didn’t expect it to be so soon, I had to wait from my doctor because of my cesarian, what will I doooooo”. Well girl, maybe you should have just waited a little bit more then, right?

I will have an appointment with a gyneacologist on the first September. Then I’m planning to tell my bosses.

You may know or not know that I’m a bit touchy when it comes to discuss babies at work. My boss (who I like to work with in general) is a bit nosy on the babyfront. She likes to make assumptions that you are pregnant if you drink fruit juice at an office party or when you complain to her about nausea from your thyriod medications. And then there is the collegue who is constantly talking about her kid and complains about pregnancy and make insinuations towards me having kids or having infertility problems all the time. I don’t know where she gets that from, but I never told her anything about her struggle.

I want to advocate about infertility, because I feel like if I don’t tell my experience, people, especially at work, will keep saying those dumb things like “when will you start a family” and “oh you don’t want babies I assume”.

When I tell my friends, I also tell them about our 3 IUI’s and our 2 year wait. And I point out that I am lucky that it didn’t take longer and that I didn’t have to do IVF, because there are people who have to go through so much more than I.

The question is: do I tell about the IUI’s at work?

Pro’s: I can advocate and maybe my boss and my collegue won’t be bothering other collegues who are maybe also TTC. Maybe this will work for other people, so I did a good thing!

Con’s: my boss will maybe be all dramatic and ask me why I didn’t mention it (well, it’s obvious: I could schedule it in my work agenda and I didn’t want to tell everytime something will go wrong at that department)

I think I will tell about the IUI’s. I just cannot lie and pretend everything went hunky dory.

The next question is: how will I tell it? How do you announce something like that? Pregnancy announcements at work are normally in an email, after you informed the chief boss. Will I say in the email just “it took us 3 IUI’s and it was a long road” or do I mention the “pressure of society about having kids and the illusion that you can snap your fingers and get pregnant whenever you plan it?”

I’m at moments just so angry with the people at my work and all their comments about “when will it be your turn little dragon?” that I just want to tell them off and maybe get a bit of “revenge”? Or is this too harsh? I just want to let them know in a professional way that all those questions over the years just really hurt my feelings. Especially when there are other collegues that never bothered me with questions, so it’s not like its NORMAL at work to be enquiring one’s sexlife. I know that my bosses are anxious that we all fall pregnant at the same time but hey, you give employement to a bunch of young women, whatcha thing would happen????

My mom is afraid that telling it will not be professional. But I just cannot lie about it.

What do you guys think?

ps: my bosses will FREAK OUT when they hear my other collegue is due 2 weeks after me. 2 workforces missing at the same time. nooooooo!

2 thoughts on “how to tell @work

  1. Instead of coming out directly and saying you had IUIs, you could say something like “After years of hoping for a family, and some treatments to help along the way, I’m now expecting my miracle baby”. Then they can ask questions if they want.

  2. Personally I am a very closed book at work, and I only share information on a need to know basis with my boss and team. I know that I personally wouldn’t mention the IUI’s, but I am extremely private with my coworkers so maybe am not a good example.

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