annoying friends

ok, I’m 6 weeks pregnant now. whoop whoop! keep sticking and growing, little bean!

In the meantime I got annoyed yet again with a friend of mine.

It’s the girl who never leaves her baby alone and even never goes jogging or walk the dog because “if you chose to have children then you have to take care of them EVERY SECOND OF THE DAY”. I wrote a post about her some months ago. Let’s call her J. She’s not a very close friend but I know her a very long time already.

Well, yesterday I met her best friend M for drinks. M said that she and J think about me and are sympathetic with our TTC struggle. So far so good. That’s very nice of them.

Then she said that J wants to invite me and M over, but she is afraid too because then I will see the baby and all the babies toys in J’s house. And she thought that I couldn’t handle it because of my infertility.

In a way, I know that it’s kind to consider my potential bad feelings about a babyfull house. And I know that there are people who are triggered by seeing a baby and have meltdowns (which I totally understand, but i don’t have those feelings towards babies: it’s the mummy’s I’m annoyed about 🙂  M said that J ment well…

In another way I was very upset because J is convinced that that will be my reaction and immediately assumes that I cannot handle seeing baby/babystuff. She is doing the thinking for me. She’s anticipating that I will have a breakdown and that I will not come to her dinnerparty or cry all the time or something.

So J will not invite me to come over. The easy way out. In the meanwhile, she also chooses not to ask me how I’m doing. Like some other of my friends (I’m still guessing if they just don’t care or if they are feeling to awkward to talk about it).

But I’m not like J. I would love being invited by her! I love company and dinner parties. If it has to be in a house with 5 babies, then that’s the way it is! I will not feel bad because of this! If all my friends were reacting like that I would live in total isolation with my hubby and my parents as only company; What the fucking hell is this reasoning!

I’m sick and tired of people tiptoeing round my ttc problems and ignoring it out off fear (mostly for feeling bad themselves). i’m sick and tired that nobody wants to talk about it and are ashamed of it.

No, it’s so much more fun to be surrounded by happy friends without problems, isn’t it? Let’s completely ignore our friends with problems and invite only the happy ones! Let the sad friends stay at home wining, who needs them! What a bloody good idea!  😦 😦

I guess now that I am pregnant I’m still not over people’s awful reactions on infertility… It’s not like my feelings about this are vaporised the second that the nice lady called about my positive test result. And you know what? I prefer to be annoyed at those people and spread the word that infertility exist and is not to be ignored.


One thought on “annoying friends

  1. I appreciate and understand how you would be sick of people tiptoeing around. I too am sick of it. It’s tiring to want to talk about it, and have no-one want to listen. Or even worse yet, people say the dumbest thing possible when we do talk about it, and then we never talk to them again. Anyways, I’m sorry you are hurting and frustrated right now.

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