after the party

I had mixed feelings about my birthday party with my friends.

I actually had a pretty good time. The few little kids who were there were adorable and the parents weren’t asking if we’re having babies yet (half of the people don’t know that we are having problems in the baby-area).

I feel very sad for one of my friends though. I found her crying in the hallway. She recieved the very bad news a couple months ago that, due to a hormonal problem, not to resolve by taking pills, she will never have children. like ever. None. And now she split up with her husband because she wants to be a foster mom but he only wants children of his own and no adoptive/foster children.

She said she could’t stand to look at the small children of our friends.

I felt so bad for her. I don’t have any problems with being around small children and babies, it’s not their fault that I’m having problems, and I as well enjoy their cuteness and play with them. She however tells me that every time she looks at a small child she feels an overwhelming sadness. It must be a terrible feeling because everywhere you go there are small children, babies and pregnant woman floating around in al their happiness. She’s seeing a psychologist but it seems it isn’t helping.

I didn’t know how to comfort her because I’m not experiencing the same thing. I just hope I will never have to go through what she’s going through.

Lots of love for all the definitely infertile women out there…

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