update

So….

what’s new?

– my family is giving me a hard time in every way

– I’m going to see an endocrinologist because my GP sucks at researching my thyriod levels

– I had several parties including cute children and babies and I didn’t cry

– I didn’t cry when another pregnancy was announced

– I felt like a bitch for not being happy that my collegue got a holiday every friday for 6 months (parental leave) and we have to work more because of that decision

– If my thyriod levels are fine I’m going to do my first IUI in a couple of months maybe weeks. Terrified, I am (to say it in a Yoda way…)

– I’m feeling better in my mind and more at ease with the baby things.

– I’m feeling guilty for drinking alcolhol every now and then because there is a brand new website from the Flemish Gouvernment giving all mothers to be tons of guild because the website says: “you should NEVER drink when you’re trying to get pregnant”. Obviously that website was not created by infertile people. That means that in my case I couldn’t have a drink for A YEAR AND A HALVE? SERIOUSLY? Sometimes the only way to cope with all those babies things is to have a good cocktail. And I never drink much. Like one or two glasses on occasion. That website however made me feel incredibly guilty!!!

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hypothyroid

sorry folks! I had misunderstood the doctor!

My thyriod is not working too fast but too slow.

Still the same infertile issue though: if you have thyriodproblems, whether too fast or too slow, you can’t get pregant so easily as normal people or you’ll have miscarriages.

Next week I’m getting my blood checked to see if the medication worked.

Fingers crossed!

facebook

So, what do you guys think about those mommies and daddies on Facebook?

Why on earth are they posting so many updates about their baby and not to mention posting every week or so another cute baby-photo?

Especially in my circle of Facebookfriends, there are tons of people with small children, smashing every day in my face that I’m childless.

I don’t think I would post that many updates and pictures when I’ll manage to produce an offspring one day.

I’m already very careful not to post to many pictures of the caveman and me, fear of becoming to cheesy. Maybe I should post weekly updates about my guineapigs? Who would give a s*** about that anyways?

I also tried to block the annoying parents from my facebooklist, but as some of them are my collegues and they kinda expect of me to be up to date, so I unblock them. Gosh I don’t know what to do anymore.

I feel bad for those children when they grow up though. Do you want to look at your baby pictures, my 16-years old daughter? We posted them on the internet so that everybody can see them! Goodie!

Poor child…

I say it again, I don’t have a problem with cute and adorable children, it’s those freakin’ parents who annoy me all the time.

I. Must. Find. A. Way. To. Deal. With. My. Baby. Issues.

after the party

I had mixed feelings about my birthday party with my friends.

I actually had a pretty good time. The few little kids who were there were adorable and the parents weren’t asking if we’re having babies yet (half of the people don’t know that we are having problems in the baby-area).

I feel very sad for one of my friends though. I found her crying in the hallway. She recieved the very bad news a couple months ago that, due to a hormonal problem, not to resolve by taking pills, she will never have children. like ever. None. And now she split up with her husband because she wants to be a foster mom but he only wants children of his own and no adoptive/foster children.

She said she could’t stand to look at the small children of our friends.

I felt so bad for her. I don’t have any problems with being around small children and babies, it’s not their fault that I’m having problems, and I as well enjoy their cuteness and play with them. She however tells me that every time she looks at a small child she feels an overwhelming sadness. It must be a terrible feeling because everywhere you go there are small children, babies and pregnant woman floating around in al their happiness. She’s seeing a psychologist but it seems it isn’t helping.

I didn’t know how to comfort her because I’m not experiencing the same thing. I just hope I will never have to go through what she’s going through.

Lots of love for all the definitely infertile women out there…