I just survied a babyshower (here it’s like a party in the afternoon after the baby is born, with cake and drinks, not everybody does it, only a few people).

I was dissapointed that I didn’t get a refill of my glass of champagne.

Luckily there was enough nice people and we didn’t talk all the time about babies. I was actually having a good time.

Still there were the remarks, when I was holding a baby from a friend (such a sweet little girl): “oooh it’s suits you, a baby. Look at how well it suits you.”

Three times in a row the same remark, from the same person. I just stroke the cute baby hair and hugged the baby tighter. Can’t I just hold and play with a baby without those remarks all the time? Do they want that I just don’t cuddle babies ever again of something???

and then another “we’ll see each other at the next party, it will be another babyshower, right little dragon, you’ll have a baby shower soon, wouldnt’t you, wouldn’t you???” (but comes from a collegue of mine who is just doing it on purpose, it’s like she knows that we’re trying, and she’s making those remarks all the time, the little bitch).

People say dumb things all the time.


Maybe I should have screamed that…

there it is…the fertilityclinic

My first appointment with the fertilityclinic was last week.

The good news: I’m not an abnormal crazy person who imagines all… yay! In the past, when I had heart rythm disorter or backpain, doctors tend to tell me that I’m just a little nervous bird and that I have to do a bit more sports. It was after four years they discovered that I had a real heart problem and I had surgery. My backpain is still a mystery, but that’s normal because science does not know so much about back problems without a visual injury (mine is from computer work mostly). I was very happy that the infertility doctor didn’t treat me like a dumb child.

The bad news: it’s not normal according to the doctor that it’s been a year and 3 months that we are trying for a baby.

So they took a lot of blood, and I have to do an echo when I have my period to see that I don’t have endomytriosis.

Oh well, at least we’re doing something about is! I already felt bad about not mentioning why I was taking the afternoon off to my collegues.

I will just try to keep good spirits! Luckily my caveman is soooo supportive and sweet. What would I do without him???