one year of waiting

hi internet,

some sad news, though I’m trying not to let it get to me.

It’s been one year now that we’re trying for a baby. One long year of waiting and crying almost (pardon, every single) time I have my period. I never expected it will take so long, I’m a very stupid, foolish girl in that way…

today is again a sad day, and my abdominal pain is also slightly increasing every time I get my period, like a sick little reminder (when I was on the pill, I never had abdominal pains…..grrr….) 

in two weeks I’m meeting a former co-student, who is a bit of a bitch. She’s got a perfect life and is not afraid to rub it into our noses. I’m NOT in the mood for the “when will YOU have children?” “tick tock the clock is ticking” or “you both still don’t want them right now”? But I’m also too much of a coward to turn her invitation down.

Since I’ve been told that I don’t have to think about it, I’m trying to do that but it’s quite impossible, really.

I hope I’m not infertile and there’s a perfectly good reason why it doesn’t go that smootly and swift…DON’T PANICK, my unconsiousness says…

I’m going for cocktails tonight. Big ones.


little dragon


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