one year of waiting

hi internet,

some sad news, though I’m trying not to let it get to me.

It’s been one year now that we’re trying for a baby. One long year of waiting and crying almost (pardon, every single) time I have my period. I never expected it will take so long, I’m a very stupid, foolish girl in that way…

today is again a sad day, and my abdominal pain is also slightly increasing every time I get my period, like a sick little reminder (when I was on the pill, I never had abdominal pains…..grrr….) 

in two weeks I’m meeting a former co-student, who is a bit of a bitch. She’s got a perfect life and is not afraid to rub it into our noses. I’m NOT in the mood for the “when will YOU have children?” “tick tock the clock is ticking” or “you both still don’t want them right now”? But I’m also too much of a coward to turn her invitation down.

Since I’ve been told that I don’t have to think about it, I’m trying to do that but it’s quite impossible, really.

I hope I’m not infertile and there’s a perfectly good reason why it doesn’t go that smootly and swift…DON’T PANICK, my unconsiousness says…

I’m going for cocktails tonight. Big ones.


little dragon

little swimmers

hi internet,

on the 7th of July, my hubby got his sperm checked.

after waiting patiently after our (wonderfull) holiday, and finding out that the gyneacologist was on holiday for two weeks after us, we finally got the result.


that’s a relief.

we will just keep trying. It’s been a year since I’ve been asked by my man to have children with him. It was such a romantic moment, better than a marriage proposal!

So now we just keep waiting. And trying. But that’s the fun bit hah!

Some bad news though: ne of my best friends responded very badly to her hormone treatment. She just doesn’t get her period. So now she decided to stop the treatment because she felt really sick. It was an immense decision and she’s completely devestated and seeks help with a schrink. I feel so bad for her, she always LOVED children so much! It’s heartbreaking.

I’m trying to relax and have a complete, fun life, though sometimes, it gets really hard (again one of my friends is pregnant, and didn’t even tell me (she’s due next month). Oh and she thinks because I don’t have children already that we don’t want any. When will people stop thinking that?

It’s like you’re a nobody because you don’t procreate. It just really pisses me off!!!

big hug from a non-conformist.
little dragon